HURT BUT NOT DAMAGED

STAYING WHOLE WHEN PEOPLE HARM YOU

- By Leila Kasten

Show me one person who claims to have never been hurt and I’ll tell you that person is a liar. Because human beings are emotional people, it is a natural thing to be hurt and to hurt. The difference lies in whether one does it consciously or unconsciously.

In all likelihood, we’ve probably been hurt and wounded by many people in our lives. We have been hurt by our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and even our lovers.

The only saving grace is if we remain intact. Our pride and ego may be hurt. We may have suffered some slight or even horrible physical pain, or even psychological and emotional pain. But believe that your spirit is intact. You are still whole. That powerful soul is impenetrable by forces trying to destroy and dismember it.

The ultimate release can only be forgiveness. It is the ultimate healer. It is also, perhaps, the most difficult thing to do, given the conditions as they are. Who, after all, can forgive a person who kills another? Who for that matter can find it in their heart to forgive another who has senselessly destroyed or ended another person’s life? It will probably take a saint, or even a martyr, to open your heart wide and say, “Yes, I do forgive you. I understand why you did what you did. I would like to make my peace with you.”

A Mother Teresa would certainly find it in her heart to do just that. I remember a prominent man who forgave his son’s killer because Mother Teresa asked him to. Although emotionally wounded at the loss of his son, nevertheless, he found it in his heart to forgive and to let go. I look upon this gentle and grieving soul with so much compassion in my own heart. There truly is a domino effect when it comes to peace and forgiveness! Other hearts are touched in turn.

But this compassionate man is different from the rest of us. How shall we respond when asked by someone, a Mother Teresa or some other person we look up to, to forgive, to let go, and make peace with our trespassers?

Anger bitterness and disillusionment are terrible burdens to carry.

Lighten your load. Does carrying that entire burden bring value in your life? Surely not! So why go on and keep carrying other people’s burdens? They may have made it their problem and may even wish to hold on to it. Do what you feel is right in your heart.

Look upon these people who have caused you harm, but not lasting damage, and say “This far and no further.” You may be hurting, you may be grieving, but remember that you are not damaged. You are whole and life will go on for you.

Release these destructive people from your heart and your mind. You do not need to carry their burden as well.

Because you have chosen this approach, expect people to brand you in the following manner:

1. You’re quitting/ coping out.

2. You’re a loser

3. You’re a coward because you don’t want to face the pain

4. You’re an idiot

5. You’re selfish

What does one do were this to happen? Perhaps you’d like to say that your misery doesn’t want

company. You’d like to heal at your own pace and at your own time. Liberate yourself from other people’s oppressive expectations.

You cannot please everyone. Worry not! You are only called to start with yourself. Let yourself be the best example to the world. Show them the power of forgiveness. Your spirit wants to be free of this earthly burden imposed upon you that of carrying the pain, the anger, and the bitterness associated with painful events that happen in our lives.

Truly happy people are not afraid of the future. The choices they make in the present moment dictate the future.

Forgiveness is the precursor to all healing. Your cells will knows and will release all toxicity. You will become healthy again. You will heal and grow and thrive. You would have reclaimed your power to heal yourself. You had it all long.

It will be truly liberating!