Do you have it or not? Take this 20 question quiz to find out.
1. Is it hard for you stand in front of many people and lead a meeting?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
2. Are your easily embarrassed if you make a mistake at work?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
3. Is it hard for you to say no when a boss asks something unreasonable, such as staying late at the last minute or assigning you extra work on a very tight deadline?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
4. At the end of the day, do you go home and mull the mistakes you made?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
5. Is it hard for you to ask for help or guidance on a project?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
6. Would you rather write a 15- page paper report than give an oral presentation?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
7. Do you have trouble asking or receiving invitations for dates?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
8. Do you have difficulty meeting the “right” people?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
9. Are you uncomfortable making small talk?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
10. Do you blame yourself if conversation doesn’t go as well as you want it to?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
11. Does going to a party leave you more exhausted than running a 10k?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
12. Do you have “pretest anxiety “before going on a date?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
13. Are you mistakenly thought of as “arrogant “or selfish”?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
14. Do you have trouble saying what you really think?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
THE INNER YOU
15. Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
16. Are you depressed?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
17. Are you lonely?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
18. Do you have suicidal thoughts?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
19. Do you sometimes feel less attractive than other women even though friends tell you otherwise?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
20. Are you afraid to change your life for the better?
a. Not at all
b. Sometimes
c. Often
d. Always
SCORING:
a. Not at all - 7
b. Sometimes - 5
c. Often - 3
d. Always - 1
130-140
You have a high degree of self-esteem and that makes you comfortably happy. You are the life of the party and people congregate around you.
110-129
You are generally confident about yourself. You know what you want and how to get it.
80-109
Though you possess some degree of self-esteem, you’re unsure about something and people tend to exploit this weakness in you. You can improve your life if you get to it.
50-79
Your fear prevents you from accomplishing your goals. You are an introvert and have little or no social acquaintances at all. You betters clearly define your goals, how to achieve it, and then stick to it.
BELOW
Your apparent lack of self- confidence makes people avoid you. It would do you good if you attend counseling sessions with a psychiatrist or with someone you trust. You can still bounce back from life’s setbacks if you commit yourself to it.
DEVELOPING SELF-ESTEEM
Feeling down due to lack of self-confidence? Cheer up! Now you can acquire this much elusive trait and earn the respect and friendship of everyone. According to Chris Wilson, author of Develop Self –Esteem, a feeling of positive self-worth can be developed over time by following these six steps.
These are:
1. IDENTIFY AND FULLFILL YOUR NEEDS
Determine the changes you want in your life. These changes can be in a relationship, your job, your social life, your feeling, your attitudes, etc. Choose the changes YOU want, not those changes someone wants for you. Once you have identified your needs, be persistent in the quest to fulfill them. Keep trying until your needs are fulfilled.
2. APPROVE YOURSELF
When you approve your actions, your feelings, and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem that no one can take away from you. Appreciate your own efforts; don’t wait for others to approve you. Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, a gold star, and more!
3. KEEP TRACK OF YOUR EXPERIENCES
Write down a diary or a journal so you can share your experiences. Note what make
you feel positive and makes you feel negative. Then work on it. Choose a supportive friend or
relative and tell your friend what you have done. Explain that you are not looking or expecting
their approval or disapproval; you merely want them to listen to you from time to time.
4. REVIEW YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Another reason to keep a success journal is to have a “success review” from time to time. Going back to past successes is excellent for self-encouragement.
By doing these steps, you will notice changes in yourself and eventually build self-esteem.
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